I’m thinking I should maybe stop dieting. Maybe it’s time to embrace my extra 20 as the love 20. You’ve probably noticed, as I have, that people, men and womyn, tend to gain some weight once they settle into a relationship? Well I’ve developed a new (r)evolutionary theory on this - it’s baby prep.
Everyone knows that people in love or even just committed long term relationships are totally different when put under under the microscope than normal people. My theory is that combined with living longer they get fatter. The reason for this is to facilitate the cold hard football fact that, like all animals on this oasis in the void, humans are made to breed. You can decide for yourself if that’s purpose or a side effect but it just the way it is. Stored energy, AKA fat, is step two in becoming a breeder (step one was the finding a potential breeding partner).
I know what you’re thinking - “this is fine for chicks who need the fat to carry a fetus to term but Ken, you’re a dude why do you need the fat?” Well it goes something like this: as a single dude I eat a lion every day (‘cause I’m a really good hunter) but once I’m saddled with progeny I’m going to have to share my lion and hence, just in case, I better store up some extra now while I can. Never mind the not planning to breed part because evolution hasn’t had a chance to catch up to that quirky modern option.
Next question: So why are single people fat? Bad eating habits is my guess but if you don’t like that answer I suggest you try to hypoallergenic diet as a starting point.
2 comments:
An interesting theory. I suspect it is more that eating is so often a social event(as you have noted), and people in couples are constantly social - with each other. Also, that the capacity to provide resources (esp. food) is still a large (unconscious?) part of romantic attraction, and that capacity must be repeatedly and frequently demonstrated to maintain the attraction.
All valid points.
Post a Comment