The truckness of the truck

“Because the last thing you need is a truck that doesn’t have the stones to get the job done.”

Marketing can be funny, and evil. These commercials do not target people who need a truck. They are going to buy a truck anyway. And use it like a truck. To do stuff the Sierra Club wouldn’t approve of.

These commercials are for the posers. They used to drive SUVs to feel like a big man (yes even the womyn) but now that the mini-van crowd has been shamed into a new class of vehicle (the SUV) the posers have moved to the truck market. (Yeah, in my reality driving a luxury SUV is an embarrassing display of self loathing). I do appreciate the commercial with the two mountain bikers trying to revive the mini van as practical not dorky dad but it isn't enough.

The ultimate thing I’ve been seeing lately around the GTA are these weird abominations where someone buys a giant pick-up truck, like an F350 or a Ram 3500 and then rices it up to look like a miniature transport truck. The killer is that these things are ALWAYS pristine. No dirt, no scratches. The only appropriate aftermarket modes on your pick up are scratches, dents and dirt. A winch if you actually use it.

In cottage country I see a lot of pick-ups with huge tires and risers and giant stickers proclaiming their badassedness and 4x4ness. These are sad too but not as sad, at least they are usually dirty.

I say the last thing a truck needs is an owner who doesn’t have the stones to do the job. A truck needs an owner who will live the truckness of the truck.